halloween/anniversary

Work world goes well, with a few freelance opportunities to boot. Life fills up with the cold but I'm going crazy with the absence of Adam. And everyone hates me. But the Bowden Blogg turns 1, it snowed many places in the East and we all press on. I LOVE HALLOWEEN!

"Adam is in Europe."

Mr. Pants escaped from my care, in some unknown suburb. I left my apartment and looked for him, lost in the place that I lived but no longer recognized. It was getting close to dusk and I worried for the cat I was looking after. I searched for what I thought was missing, all the while holding him so close. Mr. Pants hadn't really run away, he was in my arms and I was holding him tight. So tight at times I worried that I was hurting him, but I couldn't let him run away again. In my fear of letting him go I didn't realize all this. All I could feel was the pressure of loss at my fault, and had to find him.

I tracked him to the apartment of another couple of women I did not know. They were both very young and wore too much makeup. They knew James and Anna, said that they had left and were at the studio. I said "I am looking for Mr. Pants," they replied "Adam is in Europe." And they continued to give me answers I didn't need. I took a quick check of their apartment, and then left. On the porch, on my way back into early evening, one of the women asked me how old I was; "26" I answered and her eyes widened, both were happy. "Awesome!" The other exclaimed. I turned, and left.

Back down the suburban street as I searched, Mr. Pants jumped out of my arms and ran away. How could I have been so blind?

Baaaa

wwaltzz

I was with another man, we were in Miami. We stopped in a private courtyard, fenced in. There was a pool for a small two story apartment building, and we started making out. It was getting on to dawn, no doubt we partied all night long. As we kissed, another man left his apartment. This startled us. It was a familiar man, the roommate of a past love. He backed down the latter of his porch and jumped into the water.

Suddenly we were all in, but the water was made of blankets and sheets and comforters and duvets, thrown together in the pool. We were weightless and I continued to kiss the other man.

I turned and another man was in the window up above us, looking down. I knew it was my past love. I left the man I kissed and got out of the pool. By this time the past love had come down to the door. The light was getting stronger, the sun was rising. He came out to me, and I stood to him. I reached up to hug him, and he embraced me back. Taller, shorter hair, and I still felt the love inside him. I told him to tell me about him. He stuttered, a little nervous. I said, tell me while we dance, and I held out my arms and began to waltz on my tiptoes, taking the role of the woman but leading like a man.

$$$$$$$$$

EYE WEEKLY

Hello old lova do we have a futura? No, univers. Freaking of balcony robbers on a Tuesday at 1, writing a blog post and craving a drink. Smoke 'em if you got'em!!!

Frisbee Dig

I was on the Gardiner Expressway looking down over the railing from the backseat of the van, Joanne. There were cars all driving west, it was day, dry, clear. In the park below my friends were playing frisbee. I was riding with two others, a driver and a navigator but I don't remember who they were. Together, we were trying to fly away from this place, but every time we didn't quite make it. We would have to turn back and circle around to try again. But this time, we knew we could. We sped up, the van turned up until the wheels were spinning in mid-air. We rose higher and higher and just as we could feel the weight of the van start to pull us down, my friends threw their red frisbee up toward me. I reached out the window to catch it, this had the power to lift us off the earth.

Before that we drove west through downtown, elevated on the Gardiner Expressway. When we drove past Stachan Ave. I made a joke I do not remember about the pronunciation and my driver and navigator both laughed.

Before that I was sitting cross legged with Michelle Brewer after we were dancing and playing, impersonating animals and behaving like children outdoors around a bonfire.

*Fairbairnpumpkin8OD

Duff&Dav

100 10-01-10

10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-1010-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10 10-01-10
100 blog posts later, Oct 1, SUNSHINE,
work, home, cook, clean.

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs

After writing about the dream, I thought about this old show I loved to watch back in '93 (I was 10)

Dinosaurs Return

It all ended with smashing through glass windows to offices of a recently abandoned building, searching for cigarettes. Breaking the glass, first a hole with my foot or fist, then the rest fell away. It was methodic and simple. I enter and search the abandoned desks of the former suit wearing occupant. The first one a woman, her desk filled with dozens of empty cartons of marlboro lights and blues, all tightly fit in her drawers and on her shelf. I found some extra large matches, really long ones meant for lighting candles. I aggressively took them and shoved them into my pocket. Continuing to the next office I kicked in the window to the fire hose closet. The next office belonged to a man, and it was also filled with cartons of marlboro reds. I could smell it, I knew I was close. After a thorough search, through box after box of empty cigarettes, I found one, half full, left behind. Success! I took them and quickly left the room. The next office I was back in my bedroom, it was dark. I quickly ransacked through my bags and picked the best one for the job, a yellow and grey backpack. I stuffed in my sleeping bag and the matches I had found with the cigarettes. Winter was coming, and hard times were ahead as I exited the city by foot. As I looked around my room to decide what else to take with me, I woke up.

It started with an emergency. That night in Toronto along the waterfront, a violent explosion of blue and white had torn a gateway through time. This wormhole was a tunnel to prehistoric earth, the planet dominated by millions of dinosaurs, all aware of their impending extinction. In an act to save themselves, they crossed the gateway into our time. The city was quickly overwhelmed, most of the creatures were massive. Long necked, towering carnivores, toothed and horned, forcing their way into our night. The people scattered in panic.

I was working at the time, downtown. It wouldn't be long before they reached us so we needed to leave quickly. I knew that I could avoid the larger creatures but the small carnivores and other raptors would be coming for us. I got to my group of co-works, most working that evening were obnoxious and useless. I asked for my supervisors, Cheryl or Michael, but they were no where to be found. I left my crew and decided to go it alone.

Wagggon

Circling old wagons, Brent and Che and Diana and Marlo, Bartosz and Devin and Chris and Bo-Beau. Do not feel anger in autumn.

Roller coasters, subways and a pancake people party ######################

I ended up at an abandoned amusement park at night. I was with other like minded people, some friends. We were there to ride James Gauvreau's roller coaster. This man made a derelict ride into an art experience in which the track carries the user through barriers of reality to turn into animated characters. Through the trip you would stop and see large scale broken line animation, brightly coloured, making surfaces new and alive with motion. All were created by James.

One stop held the train high above the track while an animation about swimming took over a huge barn wall in the distance. The water swirled like a Japanese print and pink dolphins crudely drawn swam and jumped and played. I rode the train with Craig, his mother was beside him. As the train came back down to the track fast, our hips bumped together and I joked to him about my arousal. He said that was okay.

When the ride was over, we all left the park to a late night house party. I left my group and headed for the subway station, where I found James with a tall woman who was crying. I had interrupted them but James introduced me to her anyway. As I hurried past them down to the train he assured me he would see me later at the party.

At the house, many people crowded a small living room that was warmly lit. I sat on the carpeted floor, the party was mostly other artists and hipster folk. All of my friends were to the right. They accumulated on a small couch, one by one. Four or five of them already occupied the space when Craig and his mom sat down, squeezing the others back into the couch. As Sham sad down, the human figures began to pancake. I became embarrassed at this sight, my friends literally sticking together at an after party for the arts. But after a few moments I realized that there were physically too many of them and it couldn't be real so, I woke up.

Bitty

I was at the top of a hill, populated with houses and trees, and I needed to get to the bottom. I had a feeling of urgency and despite the lovely weather, I knew danger was lurking. I was carrying baggage, a rolling suitcase and a full bag on my back. My right arm pinched a plastic laundry basket that carried Craig's cat, Bitty.

Leaving some place, there was a man with me, I pulled out my new iPhone and I ventured down the mountain. Walking the steep and winding paved road, I spoke to my mother as I walked past few people, all intent on packing up and leaving.

I walked past Ryan Kelly, recognized him as a friend I hadn't seen in months but didn't stop. I motioned "sorry" as I continued to speak on the phone, and he looked offended, but I was in a hurry to get out and kept walking down. The man with me continued to follow in silence.

I turned into an alley of a small apartment building on the hill. I stopped to look through some abandoned objects. I placed the laundry basket with Bitty down beside the pile. She looked at me with bright eyes and a worn white coat with black spots. After some time digging with one hand, still talking to my mother on the phone while handing a few things to my silent partner, I got up and turned back down the street.

It wasn't until I got to the bottom of the hill that I realized I had forgotten Bitty. Filled with anxiety, I dropped my bags and ran back up to find her. I was sure she would leave her basket and get lost. The silent man ran after me, but I didn't notice. I felt real fear in loosing her, and not getting out of town in time. Bitty and I were both in danger.

I got back to the main intersection, the sky had turned dark, the wind picked up, a tropical storm was imminent but I kept running. I heard the screech of a breaking car, then the howls of a cat in desperate pain. Lightening and the pound of thunder. But once I turned into the alley, Bitty was still there sitting in her basket, waiting for me.