Monday, August 30, 2010


Lost Saturday night in the dark lands of Humber Park but Found a moment where the moon was melting the city lights into the lake. Summer is back on.

Friday, August 27, 2010

2 views (meditation snooze)

3 Planes Crashing

I was standing on a balcony high above the channel, the city and the airport were to my right, the open night and the dark lake was on the left. I was standing there, happy to be home alone, all had gone to a baseball game and I was left with my mother to have nice conversations and enjoy the quiet night. We were watching the small planes come and go from the airport, the breeze was cool and reminded us of the approaching change in season.

A large four engine plane was coming in slowly for a landing. It was too large to set down and at the last minute the pilot decided to make a sharp turn away from the landing strip. The left wing hit the water and the entire plane sank into the darkness below. We watched is shock as the massive white fuselage disappeared. As I was feeling compelled to grab my camera, another smaller plane that was to land crashed into the city street in front of an apartment building and sank into the concrete. No explosions or fires, just a broken hole where the plane made contact with the ground. I ran to get my camera, my mother was worried about me but I said I needed to help. As I reached my camera on the table a third plane crashed into a building close to ours, flat into its facade and this time there was an explosion after impact. It shook my building and I lost my balance and fell. I got up, saw my mother was alright, and rushed out to see if I could help, camera in hand.

On the streets it was relatively silent, there was rubble from the collapsing building but no signs of injured or disoriented people, no survivors either. I started taking pictures of the damage, the building gutted by a plane, the street with a chasm carved into it from the second crash. A woman was following me, taking photographs as well. She was dressed in black, thin with blond hair, she was my girlfriend.

Together we went inside the damaged building to search for survivors and take photographs. We walked down the hall, a green carpet, fancy doors like a high end hotel, but all was silent. I let myself into a room a few stories up and inside the outer wall was crumbling away. Exposed was the city and the lake in the night, silent. I went to take a picture but my camera was gone. I must have put it down in another room. I told the woman I would meet her later, I had to find it.

As I left the room I became lost in the maze of the building. When I finally got back to the street without recovering my camera, I felt torn. Should I go back in and resume my search or should I return home to check on my mother. I woke up.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

This Month Only

Mike and Sissel made a great performance at Adam's fundraiser on Monday. They collaborated on a piece improving video and audio together that was haunting and beautiful and a real treat to witness. They work well together!

Half man Half snake

I was traveling at night with a group of people, family, friends and others. We were nomads crossing the land heading away from the city. We came to a massive pool glowing blue in the dark, surrounded by a fence. The group decided to rest, and we went for a swim. Enjoying the water, I soon noticed something else was in the pool with us, something dark and ominous. It was a giant crocodile, hungry. I slowly backed away from it, not saying a word but knowing I needed to get out of the water. It circled and approached a man swimming on the other side of the pool. This man didn't have legs, but rather a giant snake like tail instead. The crock came up to his tail and aligned directly on top of it. At this point, many others in the pool noticed the predator and began to panic, trying to warn the half man half snake but it was too late, the crocodile began to feast on him. I backed out of the water, not taking my eyes off the beast and circled to the far side of the pool deck, getting away from the carnage that was taking place in the blue water. People were trying to get away everywhere, the animal got out of the water and cornered several people, my family included. I realized the crocodile was going to eat my mother and I ran quickly to try and fight the creature off. By the time I got there, the animal had left, it's belly full and my family was safe. I ran up to my mother who was a very tall skinny man with red hair and a big red beard dripping wet. I hugged her and was so relieved she was alive.

I told the group to go on without me, that I needed to get some more things from my apartment before I left and I would meet them later. I entered my apartment which was filled with mementos and all my belongings, it was not a place based in reality but still familiar to me, it was my home. I got a bag and slowly picked a few items that were irreplaceable. As I was doing this I was profoundly sad to be leaving everything behind to be destroyed, but I had no choice.

I left the apartment out the front door, and I was on a curved city street on a hill. It was snowing and the ground and street was covered in wet slush. The main road up the hill was busy with traffic and streetcars, people pushing to get out of town in a hurry. I noticed our van, filled with belongings and I opened the passenger door. As I got in I noticed I looked like Lindsay Lohan, long orange hair and mascara running down my face from the crying I had done while packing up. I sat down as shot gun, Ben was in the back seat, Michelle was at the wheel. I slammed the door shut and told her I was ready to go. Without a word, Michelle threw it in gear and we started up the little hill, the wheels spinning in the slush, the van heavy with our surviving belongings. As we approached the main street Michelle didn't slow down. Out of fear of getting stuck in the snow or because she didn't know how to drive, we turned quickly onto the main road and cut off a street car which was clanging its bell at us. There was so much traffic and the cars were everywhere, everyone was trying to get away. Michelle wasn't fazed by the chaotic driving but I felt anxious. And then I woke up.

Monday, August 23, 2010

NICENIECE (foronce)

My brother from another mother has a cat named Tatum, her body is twelve times the size of her head. She must have a thyroid problem. Tatum has a rage against me like no other, snarling, hissing, foaming at the mouth for me and me alone. And then yesterday, on a nice Sunday visit, she was nothing but love. Either in anticipation of her new roommate moving in next weekend, or maybe she just missed me, this is a moment in time I just had to record.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Devin Devin

Three nights ago I dreamt I was late to my exam. I had been harassing Adam the entire day before about leaving at the right time, in order to get back to town in time for my exam. I had some anxiety about it. As I slept I dreamt;

I was late, and driving in a modern sleek black SUV with Devin R who was playing Adam. This man was Adam but looked like Devin. It was a late summer afternoon, and we're driving through the country back to the city.

Devin says we have to stop to visit some people, as we pull past the house I recognize it and agree, I say "only for a few minute though," I don't want to be late. This house is the Puglsey house, friends of the family back in New Brunswick, but their suburb happened to be on the way to Toronto. I get out of the car, my driver goes in immediately to tend to the music. There is a little party going on, mostly families with children. I enter and find Meaghan Howe immediately, wife of Devin Puglsey and old friend from high school. She is pregnant again, but her belly only expands to the dimensions of a grapefruit. It is awkward. I say to her I want to meet her daughter Nora and she brings the baby over. This baby who is supposed to be younger than two has the face of an older mullato woman, with dreads and the frame of a 6 year old. I say hi for a little while and then realize the time is going. I am going to be late for my exam! We exit out onto the lawn, Devin R is there by the car. As I'm leaving I ask Meaghan when the new baby is due, and she tells me it was due 6 weeks ago. As she and Nora sit on the curb I say "that's not good." My driver and I get in the car and then I wake up.

Again Bobcaygeon he said I said

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

bob inna cayge on X4

NNNNNBobcaygeon is no NNNNBrunswick but she'll do oh yesh she does just fine. Leaving tonight, these are filmmy pics from the big ghey Maytwofer with James, Sissle, Ola, Mike and of course the A-man. The grain is my pick with flick. When I'm rich I'll throw my digital belongings in a pile and live just like the purple blooded high brows of the middle ages, hands only, with maybe a few extras.

Started my internship yesterday, working right away on a logo for rapper style, surrounded by musicians and artists, its gooood. Big smiles. Real smiles. Final exam on Friday. Start working at TIFF next week. Home to mommy in two. Life is good, I hope this summer burns through until 2011. The year we made contact? So silly that was 2001, ten years later you become a citizen.

Parties planes and panties

And two nights ago I dreamt of another party, everyone I have ever known in my entire life was there. I was made up of all of these individuals, and I could feel and experience their existence as if it were my own. Together as a mass, we were on the tarmac of an airport, open to the night. There were two massive jumbo jets parked on either side of the mass, one was blue, the other was black. Everyone at the party wanted to talk to me, to touch me. I slowly moved my way through the crowd towards the stairs up into the black plane.

Once inside I was brought into my own private room and put to bed. It was a king sized hospital bed, and the room was dark. There was a large screen at the foot of the bed and medical devices all around, a few doctors hovered as well. My sister was there, and she was put in charge of my morphine drip. At first she didn't know how to use it, but then accidentally gave me the entire dose at once. I went euphoric.

Soon two other boys came to the door. One was familiar, someone who sat beside me during my type history lecture, the other was a stranger. Familiar to me was wearing a hospital gown, the other was naked. The doctors told my sister to leave the room and the two boys came in. The naked one was examined while the other got into the enormous bed with me, he was friendly and I became aroused. I noticed I was wearing an old pair of boxers that used to be my favorite, red plaid that ripped up the ass to expose one of my butt cheeks. I had thrown them away years ago. I woke up.

----Ontario laser

Monday, August 9, 2010

The Renaissance of me

I'm trying this new thing where I love everything. I have a tendency that I come honestly by, to be overly negative about almost every situation I am faced with. I have gotten better at filtering my actions and words, but the thoughts are ever present. Changing behavior is one thing, changing mindset is another.

If there is any recent proof of my attempt at action, a renewal of my younger and more innocent outlooks, a grab at something better for myself and the community I inhabit, it would be Cadmium. This publication enabled my admiration for design, art, writing and collaboration to be fused together. Leadership skills I learned in high school finally were applied again, many years later. This is the beginning of the Renaissance of me.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


(((ROSSOLUTION))) Success!!!

House guests are the zest we passed the test had quite the fest and showed some chest. I need a rest or a life vest as they return est for the work pest. YOU'RE THE BEST!!!