Monday, December 13, 2010

A dream in a dream was taking place.

I was someplace I did not recognize but it felt like the cottage. Alone, Adam and I frolicked about the place falling deeper in love.

When he was gone, a woman in a grey jacket with several suitcases arrived. I recognized her as a fellow student from my graphic design class. Blond hair, blue eyes, but nothing particularly striking about her. She began asking me intimate questions about Adam. When she began to ask about our living situation, I suspected something. She asked if Adam was living with me part time. I asked why. She said they were in love and got married. I stopped and looked over to her. "You're fucking Adam?" I asked directly. She nodded her head yes and showed me her wedding ring. I exited the room and grabbed as many of my belongings as possible. Adam was in the hall. I didn't have to ask him the truth, the look on his face told me everything. Then telepathically he played me a scene of the two engaged in heterosexual sex.

I needed to escape! Adam pulled a camera on me and began taking my photo. "This may be the last time I ever see Jordan, got to get his picture." He said through a grimace. I was hurt.

Out of the cottage and onto the busy city street, I exited from a high rise hotel. I got into a jeep and threw my bags in the passenger side. Adam followed me. I sat at the steering wheel and turned the ignition. A song came on the radio that sang about "giving him a second chance," but it made me sick. "Fuck this" I said, and threw it in gear leaving Adam on the curb.

Going down the city street I was really upset. Something I felt so secure in was instantaneously destroyed. I couldn't see well through the windshield as it fogged from my tears, shifting gears was unfamiliar to me although I didn't stall. It was night and the twinkling lights of cars and the horizon were all I saw. From the skyline I could tell I was on the east side heading north towards Yonge and Bloor. I found the windshield wipers. There were many cars. I focused on the drive in my boxy jeep.

I arrived at a huge house where all my friends lived including Adam. Martina was there and had just gotten out of the shower and she knew I was sad. She followed me to Adam's room where I was ransacking the place for my belongings, primarily my camera. I told her all about the situation, described the woman he had apparently married and the drive over. A dream in a dream was taking place.

As I was getting ready to leave I asked if she was coming to my party that night. She said she and Ola were going to hit a few things up on the way. She looked past me into Bartosz's room and said he was busy. I asked if her and Ola were prostituting on the way. She said maybe.

On my way out there was a big open cafeteria space where all my friends were eating. I sat for a moment but as soon as Adam came in I left.

Onto the night street I was biking this time, underneath the Gardiner Expressway. It was crowded with people and when I approached the ACC I knew there was an event on. Not in the building but instead inside a giant white bubble that had been put up for the occasion. Without a choice, my bike and I were pulled into the bubble. Inside were hundreds of people listening to Christopher Walken speak about being the best actor in the world. I was floating above the crowd now without my bike, looking down into his crystal blue eyes. I looked around and the side of the white bubble I was heading towards had shelves of cereal. I decided to fly towards it and grab a box. Just as I found a bit of control I woke up.

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